Once I'm alone with my thoughts one of the few things I truly enjoy doing is looking back on my life and where I am. For the past year I guess I could say I have had my up's and down's in regards with relationships with a lot of the people I had been around for some time & some new people that entered my life. Some I continue on having good connections with, and some I am glad I had cut ties with. Other than relationships with people around me, I had to deal with the transitions from being in a tight environment to getting released into the "adult world". I am still learning the do's and don't's of "adulting" as us younger people refer it to. As the last few months of this year speed up I can say, with all my heart, 2017 was the year I began to grow, and from here I will continue.
In the beginning of 2017 I had no motivation with my education. I had been only doing the bare minimum and was perfectly fine with that, although looking back at my habits if I were to still have continued with that mindset it would have taken me much longer to move up and transfer. Although I was doing "ok" in school I preoccupied my time with working, with majority of online classes I was able to work way more than I do now. I had friends who were lucky enough to leave our hometown and truly experience their first year of college. I was jealous, I wondered, "Why couldn't have my parents worked hard enough before this to send me off?", of course it was never my parents fault. I should not have blamed them and made them feel bad for something they financially couldn't have done for me as much as they wanted it to happen. Instead later on I was thankful my parents didn't have go through that struggle, I have been thankful for all their sacrifices to provide for me.
I was envious of the many things kids my age were able to do away from home. Why couldn't I be having "fun"? In no way am I looking down on the things people do but now, the things I wish I was able to do don't quite appeal to me anymore. Which I'm glad to be honest. In the mean time I had my own source of "fun", I began taking trips with my boyfriend to new cities and checking out new places together. I was thankful for this and in no way would I have wanted it in any other way.
As the school year went on the constant reminder slowly stopped bothering me. I started being happy where I was in school. I had let go of all my negative feelings about the things that bothered me. I became positive, I continued to work harder in my classes. In this moment I was genuinely excited for my future and what it held after transferring. Being able to transfer and finally be at any college I chose to apply to later on became my big motivation. Holding the feelings of jealousy and bitterness over things I could not control at the time was unreasonable, and thankfully these emotions no longer control my actions. I worried less about what I was missing out on. I was able to enjoy many things after changing my outlook on things.
As I began to grow so did everyone else around me. I have been disconnecting with the people I thought I would be close with forever. I had also began meeting new people, creating new friendships. I do hold a few connections with people I had been close with for years, and there are some I am glad I moved on with life without them in it. I've changed, and I am happy I am the new me. I have chosen not to allow any negativity and immaturity into my life along with unnecessary drama. I've realized my worth and I will no longer stress myself out over pleasing people. I'm happy with the people I have in life with me and I am happy with the friends I have that hold a place in my heart.
Although a lot of things have changed within the year there isn't one thing I would take back. I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason. So all of these changes in my life all were for a reason. I learned from my mistakes I have made so far this year and learned many other things in general that I will continue to carry with me. I am happy where I am in life and happy with all the accomplishments I have achieved this year. I've re-learned to enjoy the small things in life and to be patient for good things to come.
Great article
ReplyDeleteThis is amazing
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